What is Prayer, Anyway?

We've established that it's not a mystical force to be idolized, but what IS it? How do you do it right?

Ask a Churchian:

They might tell you what they have been taught—that prayer is talking to God. It is, but we Churchians can't let anything be that simple. We know that to do it right, you need to close your eyes when you talk to God. It's also preferable to use Biblical-sounding language and to follow a formula based on the Lord's Prayer, or possibly the ABCs of Prayer. And you should be aware that prayer doesn't really count unless you do it early in the morning or at a specially designated prayer meeting. As a matter of fact, since the process is extremely complicated and requires skill and concentration, it may be advisable to take a class on prayer (or at a minimum, read a couple of books on the topic) before attempting it.

Given all these factors, is it surprising that many Churchians have decided that prayer is best left to the professionals? Instead of attempting their own amateur prayers, they instead submit their “prayer requests” to the pastor and “prayer team”.

A classic case of unintended consequences

The intent in holding classes and writing books on prayer, obviously, was to help people pray more. I suspect that instead, the message many Churchians have received is that they shouldn't bother with prayer unless they can do it right. Just talking to God and trying to listen to Him? That doesn't count.

What we like to call “the right way”*:

Can we agree that the purpose of prayer is communicating with God? Think about how you communicate with someone you're close to:

1. You talk to them when you have something to say—you have a need, or a feeling you want to share, or just something you want them to know. You probably don't have designated “communication time” or “communication meetings”. Or maybe you do—but communication with that person is not restricted only to those times.
2. You sound like yourself when you talk to them. No need for a script or formula. You just talk.
3. You listen to them. You tune in to what they have to say to you, and you stop talking long enough to hear them.

Here's the thing: God is wherever you are, and He wants to hear from you. No need to wait for a prayer meeting. You don't even have to get up early to pray (if you're not a morning person, nobody knows that better than God—He made you!). Just talk to Him. You need something? You have questions? TALK TO HIM.

And don't forget the other half of the equation: listen to Him. In my experience, the #1 way God talks to us is through that great big book He gave us. It's not the only way, but it's the reason He gave us the Bible. Go ahead and throw out your Churchian “devotional guide” that tells you to spend a certain amount of time praying and a separate period of time reading the Bible. Two-way communication with God is the point of it all, right? Talk to Him, listen to Him, and get to know His voice. It really is that simple.

*If you follow this link and look for the prayer lesson in the clip, there isn't one--just the origin of the phrase I used for the section heading at about 1:05.

The Church's Favorite Idols

Having grown up as a Churchian, I've heard many sermons on the dangers of modern-day idolatry¹. Youth pastors often warn teenage Churchians against making idols of things like romantic relationships and entertainment. Older Churchians know that they must guard against allowing their careers, homes, and finances to become idols. Because we Churchians are also humans, though, knowing doesn't necessarily remove the problem. In our determination to avoid idolizing Wordly Things², we've managed to create our own idols within the church. Our Churchian idols are harder to recognize. They're sneaky, because they look like good things. For that matter, they usually are good things. They're just a little out of balance, slightly twisted, or misunderstood. For example?

Prayer.

Yes. For some Churchians, prayer is an idol.

Before you stone me, let me explain.

If you ask a Churchian what prayer is, he will probably tell you that it is talking to God. And yet, in reality, many Churchians view prayer as a force in its own right, rather than a means of communication. Don't believe me? Think about the much-used-in-the-church phrase, “the power of prayer”. What does that mean? If you have spent much time in evangelical churches, you know what it means: that the right kind of prayer, in sufficient quantities, has the power to make God do things. We have been taught that if we pray enough, using the correct prayer formula, God will do what we tell him to do. So we read books about prayer, take classes on prayer, and show up to prayer meetings, all in an attempt to access the power of prayer...completely missing that prayer is a means of communicating with God, not an end in itself.

Know what else can be an idol?

Worship.³

Similar to the phenomenon of prayer idolatry, but this one is especially prevalent in charismatic and Pentecostal churches. In fact, if that is not your background, you probably won't know what I'm talking about here, and you have my permission to skip this section.

As with prayer, worship music is often viewed as a force of some kind, rather than a tool—the right combination of talent, sincerity and congregational participation is believed to have the power to produce the presence of God. If the musicians are off their game or the congregation isn't sufficiently engaged, you may hear someone say that they “just didn't feel the presence”. Some Churchians move from church to church, searching for the one that conjures that feeling on Sunday mornings.

The problem with this mindset is that those people are missing the actual presence of God as they chase after feelings. When people gather to meet with God, He is there whether I feel Him or not.

I don't want to miss Him any more.

1. For those who may be unfamiliar with Churchian vernacular, Webster defines idolatry as “the worship of a physical object as a god” or “immoderate attachment or devotion to something”. In the church, it generally means allowing any object or relationship to take precedence over one's commitment to following Jesus.

2. A Churchian phrase with a wide range of meanings—depending on who you are talking to, it could refer to something apparently harmless but not overtly religious, or to the worst of sins.

3. In Churchian circles, worship almost always refers to music—singing songs about and to God.