I feel like I should be doing a Christmas post, but I'm not. I apologize if you're disappointed, but instead I'd like to talk about the latest thing that's been rattling around in my head: why a special wardrobe is required to go to church.
Yes, a lot of churches are pretty casual these days.
Even my church shows a lot of denim on Sunday mornings, but as a lifelong Churchian and The Pastor's Wife, I just can't do it. And I've been thinking about why that is. In spite of all my talk about abandoning the rules and not worrying about judgment from my fellow Churchians, I have to admit: I'm a little afraid that someone might think thoughts if I wore jeans on a Sunday morning. So I don't. Even on the days that I really really want to1.
So who cares? Does it matter what I wear to church?
Um, yes. Like it or not, what I wear says something about me. Some types of clothing are appropriate for certain situations and ridiculous elsewhere (swim suits and wedding dresses come to mind). There are some clothing items that I would argue are never appropriate anywhere (Crocs, obviously2). But what is appropriate for church? And what do I want my Sunday morning outfit to say?
Oh, and just who am I talking to through my clothes?
Great, just what I need: one more thing to overthink. But really, let's examine this for a minute. By insisting on “church clothes” for church, who am I dressing for? Am I dressing to impress the young mom who wants to check out this church thing but isn't sure it's for her? The one who sneaks in and sits in the back because she's not sure she's dressed right3? Well, no. I'm dressing to please the small minority of my fellow Churchians who still care about dressing up for church.
Remember: church is weird.
For people who didn't grow up as Churchians, going to church can be weird and scary. It's like trying to integrate into an unfamiliar foreign culture. So why throw up one more obstacle for people who are new to church? Why make them feel like they have to buy a new wardrobe first? I can't speak from a man's perspective, since I've never been one, but I guarantee that for a woman—feeling like you don't have the right clothes could absolutely keep you away from church.
Great. Something else I have to face.
Now that I've thought through the reasons for my church clothes, I'm going to have to face this lingering bit of fear of what Churchians think of me. I don't have any illusions that what I, personally, wear to church will set the tone for who we are as a church and throw our doors open in welcome to our community. But maybe...maybe...seeing The Pastor's Wife in jeans will reassure that young mom in the back that her clothes are fine. And maybe it will help me remember why I'm there, and who I'm trying to impress. Maybe.
1. Just to be clear, I have no hang-up at all with anyone other than myself wearing jeans to church. Ten years ago? Yes. But I'm way over it now.
2. I'm kidding, of course. That's just a really funny joke.
3. Men reading this may not be tracking, but trust me: women think about this stuff a lot.
